Loopost

We all have to face it eventually. Even as children we play with it, eat it even, driven by a curiosity that seems to stay with us for most of our lives. How many are honest enough to admit that they take a long look after a visit to the loo? How many are more than mildly curious as to what they ate to eventuate in that thing in the loo? I have vague memories of floating turds in bathwater…perhaps some of my earliest. I am sure I wasn’t grossed out by it though. Somewhere along the line we are taught that faeces are dangerous and germ ridden and are to be avoided at all cost. Yet we still need to wipe our asses. Existential threat number one for most of us. Then, just when we are coming to terms with it, along comes a bout of diarrhea with uncontrollable squirts that seem to permeate everything cloth and skin alike. Yikes! I remember waddling down a tourist thoroughfare in southern Turkey turning green and brown all over before my friends found me and prepped me up with some western wonder drug. In all seriousness though, there is a lot of nasty stuff in poo, especially an unhealthy persons poo. We are right to be fearful but respectful of the power of poo for good and evil. Composted poo is good. Loopost! Many of my customers are surprised to learn that I charge so much for servicing and emptying loopost from their toilets, but they are always willing to pay. These customers are the phobic amongst us that have not been able to learn the distinction between poo and loopost. They pay the price for being slow learners. Fair enough some are uninitiated tenants that have not actively chosen to use a compost loo. I deal with their loopost and their landlords are paying a premium. As I don’t really want to spend the rest of my career dealing with other peoples phobias (and it is increasing as tree changers buy up hippyville) I want to encourage everyone to help out their neighbours with a friendly conversation about how wonderfully easy it is to empty a loo and how loopost is an excellent additive to their fruit trees or landscaping (NOT vege patch for fresh out of the loopost, wait a year first). Try to dispel the myth that it will be smelly and goopy. Its not. Good loopost is mostly carbon from the bulking agent with broken down black humus distributed throughout. Millions of micro-organisms have eaten and re-pooed it out again and again. Long strands of mycelium have woven their way through it, feeding and breaking down into food for more micro-organisms. It is unrecognizable as poo. But if you can’t achieve this then please reassure them that I will be happy to come and service their loo for a princely sum so that they don’t have to get their hands dirty.